Head, Shoulders, Tits and Toes: My Glamorous Life a Week Post Birth

She is here! The emotional roller-coaster that was my pregnancy has finally ended - rather later than any of us expected running 13 days overdue. I had 3 stretch and sweeps (yes 3!!) and was finally induced in hospital.
I had a pretty quick labour really although it felt like it lasted all day and I did the whole lot with no pain relief much to my disappointment. I asked for an epidural, I'm no hero, this is my last baby and I wanted all the drugs but she was coming fast and there were no rooms at the Inn so off to the birthing suite I went. This is the place where the hypno-birthing mums go, somewhere I felt I did not belong after asking for the giant needle but you know what, they were great and so supportive. It bloody hurt, I mean really bloody hurt, I said frequently that I could NOT take it anymore and the head coming out!! I'm squeezing my legs together at the flashback of it now but I did it. Not like I had a lot of choice really!
Little Lady
So we are home and trying to adjust to life with 3 kids and I am trying to just function in general. Never has just being a human felt so hard than when you've had a baby, especially your third baby. Everything aches, everything.
Head: Overtired, incapable of making basic decisions, so full of hormones that I cried when the place I'd finally decided to go for my birthday lunch (4 days after giving birth) had a 40 minute wait.
Shoulders: Sore! In fact my whole back has seen better days after going through labour hunched over on all fours.
Tits: Have been replaced with boulders what would give Jodie Marsh wearing those belts a run for her money and are so painful I can barely keep my arms by my side. They also have the added quality of leaking, almost as if they're crying happy tears of their own when The Baby does something particularly cute.
Toes: Well feet really which are still swollen and require flight socks to be worn over them for 10 days making me feel sexier than ever. Not.
And that's not even mentioning the obvious bits that have been battered, bruised and stitched up. It's like a warzone down there.
Thank god for bottle feeding and wine!
I'm walking around with my jelly belly, flight socks on, wearing a nappy and sitting on a pampers bed mat that we had for The 3yr Old's potty training to make sure I don't leak all over the sofa. Not sure if I've ever felt more unattractive and exhausted. Glamorous I am not.
But we're only a week in, it's got to get better right? And bless The Man who reminds me whenever I complain that "everyone in this house loves you" which is really rather sweet.


Speak soon x

*I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone at Southmead Hospital for looking after me an in particular to my midwife Ashley who was amazing! It turned out I was her 40th baby which meant she is now qualified so huge congrats, you'll be incredible!*


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