*replace 'flipping' with something far more obscene*
Never has Sod's Law been more apparent then when you become a parent. Those super annoying, flipping frustrating (see above) things that your kids do just at the wrong time and surely just to annoy you.
1. Taking it in turns to sleep - When you have one child you can guarantee that the day you need to get out of the house will be the day they actually lie in rather than have you up at 5am. When you have two children the one that usually wakes you up at 5am now will stay asleep putting you under the false illusion that you're going to get an extra few winks, don't be so silly, the other one will now wake you up early and in turn wake up the rest of the house.
You're meant to stay asleep until the sun comes up!
2. Taking turns is not limited to sleeping - This will happen with nappy changes and also crying/tantrums. Just when one is finally settled the other one will have a good old cry just to keep you on your toes!
3. Nice outfit? Not for long! - It's hard to look good and feel comfortable when you're a mum especially if you're still a bit squishy but the day you look in the mirror and think 'yeah, I feel good today' will be the day the baby will projectile vomit all over you. Back to jeans and a top.
4. No spare - You have a massive changing bag ready for anything. You have not just one but three or four of everything you could possibly need and usually don't actually need to use them. The one day you pop out without that extra set of clothes WILL be the day that your child has a poo explosion meaning you're now pushing them back the car in just a nappy and a blanket.
5. 'He's actually sleeping really well' - Don't say it! Don't ever say it. As soon as you big-up their sleeping it will reverse! You will have the most terrible nights sleep known to man and it's your own fault for jinxing it.
6. Same goes for eating habits.
7. Speaking of poo explosions - Just when you have got everyone ready to leave the house (particularly when you're running late) your little bundle of joy will burst that nappy at the seams leading to coats off (including yours because by this point you're a sweaty mess) and starting all over again.
8. Sitting down - One kid is asleep, the other is happily entertaining themselves *read as watching Dora* you take the opportunity to sit down and just close your eyes for a minute to regroup. Silly Mummy! The baby will cry and never let this happen.
9. Napping - Aside from the annoying taking turns with sleeping they will also not have a nap when you're getting ready, doing housework or want them to have a nap but instead choose to fall asleep 5 minutes before you're due to go out and flapping.
10. Phone calls - You need to make phone calls to places like the doctors, EDF, the bank and such like. The kids will not disturb you when you're talking to your mates on the phone but as soon as you need to listen and pay attention to one of the above they will have the mother of all tantrums.
My advice? I have none - Sod it.
Speak soon x
Never has Sod's Law been more apparent then when you become a parent. Those super annoying, flipping frustrating (see above) things that your kids do just at the wrong time and surely just to annoy you.
1. Taking it in turns to sleep - When you have one child you can guarantee that the day you need to get out of the house will be the day they actually lie in rather than have you up at 5am. When you have two children the one that usually wakes you up at 5am now will stay asleep putting you under the false illusion that you're going to get an extra few winks, don't be so silly, the other one will now wake you up early and in turn wake up the rest of the house.
2. Taking turns is not limited to sleeping - This will happen with nappy changes and also crying/tantrums. Just when one is finally settled the other one will have a good old cry just to keep you on your toes!
3. Nice outfit? Not for long! - It's hard to look good and feel comfortable when you're a mum especially if you're still a bit squishy but the day you look in the mirror and think 'yeah, I feel good today' will be the day the baby will projectile vomit all over you. Back to jeans and a top.
4. No spare - You have a massive changing bag ready for anything. You have not just one but three or four of everything you could possibly need and usually don't actually need to use them. The one day you pop out without that extra set of clothes WILL be the day that your child has a poo explosion meaning you're now pushing them back the car in just a nappy and a blanket.
5. 'He's actually sleeping really well' - Don't say it! Don't ever say it. As soon as you big-up their sleeping it will reverse! You will have the most terrible nights sleep known to man and it's your own fault for jinxing it.
6. Same goes for eating habits.
7. Speaking of poo explosions - Just when you have got everyone ready to leave the house (particularly when you're running late) your little bundle of joy will burst that nappy at the seams leading to coats off (including yours because by this point you're a sweaty mess) and starting all over again.
8. Sitting down - One kid is asleep, the other is happily entertaining themselves *read as watching Dora* you take the opportunity to sit down and just close your eyes for a minute to regroup. Silly Mummy! The baby will cry and never let this happen.
9. Napping - Aside from the annoying taking turns with sleeping they will also not have a nap when you're getting ready, doing housework or want them to have a nap but instead choose to fall asleep 5 minutes before you're due to go out and flapping.
10. Phone calls - You need to make phone calls to places like the doctors, EDF, the bank and such like. The kids will not disturb you when you're talking to your mates on the phone but as soon as you need to listen and pay attention to one of the above they will have the mother of all tantrums.
My advice? I have none - Sod it.
Speak soon x
I'm not a Mum but have lots of friends who are. One has a brilliant poo explosion story. Driving her 3 kids from Toronto to Ottawa the youngest had a poo explosion so bad that she had to pull over on the hard shoulder. What to clean the mess up with? She used to eldest boys toy fire mans helmet and a can of sprite! Love to you loving your family so much :-)Helen in Canada.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great story! I can only imagine the panic of looking around for things to use! Thanks so much for reading x
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